2023 · 23. February 2023
Many people are uncomfortable with having mixed feelings, with ambivalence. This is often seen in relationships. A person might say, “I really like my partner but he does some things which really annoy me. I wish I didn’t have these contradictory feelings, maybe he’s not right for me”.
In reality, it's normal to have mixed feelings, whether about your partner, your family, your work, your friends. My latest column explores why it's important to learn to tolerate ambivalence.
2022 · 07. October 2022
“There’s no point in trying”, “things will never get better”, “I’ll never be happy” – are there times you feel like giving up, like everything is hopeless? Don’t give into those feelings. Here are four tips on things you can do right now that will help lift those difficult feelings.
2022 · 03. October 2022
“Just stop worrying”, “think positive”, “don’t think about it” – if you’re a worrier, this isn’t helpful advice. My latest column looks at advice from CBT expert Dr Robert Leahy: learn to worry more effectively.
2022 · 11. August 2022
Worrying about a problem helps us to solve a problem – doesn’t it?
Well, no. Worrying and problem-solving are very different things. Indeed, research shows worrying actually makes us less likely, not more likely, to solve our problems.
And yet, worry can feel productive. What’s going on? Let's take a closer look.
2022 · 13. January 2022
When you’re feeling down, you may feel too tired or listless to do things that might lift your mood. How can you break out of the inactivity trap that is at the heart of depression?
2021 · 04. February 2021
The mental health benefits of exercise cannot be underestimated. My latest column explores these benefits and offers some tips for people who struggle with motivation.
2020 · 03. December 2020
People often make the mistake of thinking that good mental health is all about positive thinking. As a result, many people turn to books like Norman Vincent Peale's The Power of Positive Thinking or Rhonda Byrne's The Secret. That's not a good idea: an excessive emphasis on positive thinking can be very dangerous, as America discovered under the leadership of Donald Trump.
2019 · 14. November 2019
There are no shades of grey with black-and-white thinking, I argued in last week's Southern Star; everything is great or awful, hot or cold, feast or famine.
2018 · 01. November 2018
In last week's Southern Star, I noted that while it's only right and proper to complain when you've been wronged, complaining can also become a bad habit, negatively impacting on your mood and on the moods of others. The column is now online. Lots of people really like to complain – about the weather, about the boss, about the politicians, about the neighbour up the road who borrowed your corkscrew and who has yet to return it. How much complaining is too much? Now, there are many good...
2018 · 04. October 2018
In last week's Southern Star, I noted that while it's only right and proper to complain when you've been wronged, complaining can also become a bad habit, negatively impacting on your mood and on the moods of others. The column is reproduced below. Lots of people really like to complain – about the weather, about the boss, about the politicians, about the neighbour up the road who borrowed your corkscrew and who has yet to return it. How much complaining is too much? Now, there are many good...