2023 · 07. September 2023
You might want to change your life, but nevertheless keep doing things that make you unhappy. Why? My latest Southern Star column explores this all-too-common problem.
2023 · 23. March 2023
My last column explored the issue of anger – the different ways anger is manifested, the various factors that drive it, and the negative consequences associated with anger problems. This week, let’s look at specific steps on how to better manage your anger.
2023 · 09. March 2023
Do you often worry or feel bad about your anger? Have other people expressed concern about it? Has your anger resulted in conflict in your personal or professional life? In the first of two columns, I discuss the importance of anger management.
2022 · 16. June 2022
In my last column, I talked about how many people operate on a double standard – they show support and warmth towards others but are often self-critical and punitive towards themselves.
But what about the opposite instances? What about when we are quick to judge others, showing them none of the regard we would like to be shown ourselves?
2021 · 02. December 2021
Sometimes, our emotions cause us to do things that aren’t good for us. However, you don’t have to be a prisoner to your emotions. In this article, I examine the opposite action strategy – that is, do the opposite of what your emotions are telling you to do.
2021 · 08. April 2021
I’m often struck by the bile and verbal abuse on social media, particularly Twitter. In normal life, people tend to be respectful of acquaintances who don’t share their opinions. The online world is less polite in this respect. Venting on social media can be an outlet for your frustrations, but you should resist the urge to do so – black-and-white, hyper-critical thinking can become a bad habit, hurting your mood and relationships.
2021 · 14. January 2021
People sometimes recoil when the word “acceptance” is used, because they think acceptance equates to approval. However, accepting the reality of a situation doesn’t mean you approve of it. This article explores the importance of what DBT founder Dr Marsha Linehan calls radical acceptance – 'complete and total openness to the facts of reality as they are, without throwing a tantrum and growing angry’.
2020 · 24. July 2020
“Selfish”, “idiots”, “name and shame!” There's been a lot of dramatising on social media in recent months, which isn't too surprising when one considers the tensions and uncertainty caused by the coronavirus pandemic. When times are difficult, it's important not to make a bad situation worse by choosing drama over calm. A dramatic, black-and-white worldview isn't boring, but be careful - it can breed resentment and become a bad habit.
2019 · 14. November 2019
There are no shades of grey with black-and-white thinking, I argued in last week's Southern Star; everything is great or awful, hot or cold, feast or famine.
2019 · 18. April 2019
Emotions are contagious. If someone smiles at you, it’s hard not to smile back. And if someone barks in anger at you, well, you know yourself. The contagious power of emotions – especially negative emotions – is obvious on social media, particularly Twitter. Things can get nasty on Twitter; people say all kinds of things they would never say in face-to-face conversations. One person disagrees with another, things get heated as others join in to defend their friend, insults get hurled and...